Ridiculous Statements from the Tech Press Regarding the iPhone 5, After it was Announced

I got bored during one of the software demos while reading live-blogs about the Apple iPhone 5 press event, so I checked in on my RSS feeds. Surprisingly (or not really) there were posts up about what the iPhone 5 means yadda yadda yadda — yet no one had touched it yet. So I’ve culled together stupid statements people are making maybe even some statements from those that have played with the iPhone 5, we can’t be sure with this level of “journalism”.

Here we go, let’s start with Consumer Reports. Mike Gikas:

Apple needed to go big this time, and it did.

Why, because competitors have larger phones? If that’s your basis for this statement, then how do you back up the fact that Apple has not lost any sales by not having a bigger phone sooner — it’s not like this is a new trend? That is, iPhone sales were still excellent-to-industry-leading. So what is the basis for this ludicrous statement? There isn’t one — and who’s to even say that a bigger iPhone is actually better? I’m not convinced, but I am going to wait to have one before I put that down in ink.

Next is John Brandon, who writes a true gem for Inc.com, titled: “iPhone 5: Finally Ready for Business?” Well, is it? Brandon goes through a bunch of words, that put together amount to little more than a press release. Here’s a true gem of the article:

A new set of earbuds, called the EarPods, should make phone calls a little easier and clearer for business purposes–and maybe even reduce some background noise in the process.

Did he just write about the new headphones being great “for business purposes” — wow, just wow. Maybe they will be great for music purposes too. Either way, do business people walk around with headphones on? Bluetooth, certainly, but earbuds? I think not.

Brandon solidly concludes his article with:

Whether the business world adopts it as a standard phone for employees, or lets staff members “bring their own” is still undecided.

Shocking conclusion there Brandon. He then cites an Inc.com poll showing consumers that read Inc.com want the iPhone 5, while his actual conclusion is the pricing info. I get putting a business spin on the article, but why not talk more about VPNs, encryption, security, and Exchange support? He touches on some of this, but that’s the heart of a business article about the iPhone — not the earbuds.

The Consumerist’s, Chris Morran took to the argument we are likely to hear everyone talk about, the new connector. Morran thinks:

Sure to be of annoyance to some people is Apple’s decision to finally do away with the wide 30-pin connectors that have been associated with iOS devices for years.

Good to know that, I guess. Of course it will make great claim chowder if it turns out to be the best new feature — I guess we will have to wait for actual consumers to use the device, you know, because assumptions are just that, assumptions. If you really wanted to damn this new connector why not talk about the obscene $29 that Apple charges for the adapter. Better yet, why not ask why Apple likes the $29 price point so much. As I said, the new connector is just as likely to be a hit as it is to be a miss, unless you need something to get riled up about before you know the answer.

To recap:

  • Consumer Reports thinks this is something that will right the iPhone ship that was being bombarded by larger screened rivals.
  • Inc.com thinks there’s a chance the earbuds will be great “for business purposes”.
  • The Consumerist thinks the new dock connector is going to be a real pain in the ass for consumers.

I can’t wait for tomorrow’s reports…

Update: GigaOm is blaming Apple’s lack of adoption of NFC as being the reason NFC is floundering. Yeah…

Originally posted for members on: September 12, 2012
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