Like the title says:
Microsoft
1990-1999: Apple can’t touch them. They are the platform going forwards — no need to worry about your OS — just buy damned fast hardware. 2000-2002: Meh. 2002-2004: Why is nothing new? I am tired of blue and green or silver and green start bars. 2004: See ya. 2005-2007: Microsoft now stands for everything that I see wrong with computing in general. I loathe the fact that they are so prevalent in my home state. 2007-2008: They are going to go bankrupt, lol. 2009: I forgot about them for a bit. 2010: They have something in Metro, I want to see more. 2011-Writing of this post: They are now the underdog I want to see having a come from behind upset with Windows Phone and Metro. Man, would I love to see that.
Apple
1990-1999: Who would use a Mac? The floppy disks don’t even work on the PCs I have at home without converting stuff each time. These things are junk.
2000: My sister has a Mac, oh man is it slow.
2001: The university has some iBooks running OS X, I have to say it looks interesting.
2002-2003: If nothing else I want the PowerBook because its hardware looks sweet.
2004: Hello, 12” G4 PowerBook. I now see that we have something in Macs — why did it take me so long?
2005-2007: If you are not using a Mac I have to seriously question why I know you — clearly our differences are too great to reconcile.
2008-2010: I remember when it was unique to see people using a Mac. I remember when people thought my having an iPhone was unique.
2011-Writing of this post: Congrats on buying your Apple product, yes I know how much you were missing this whole time, yes you were a fool. I don’t want to talk about it anymore, because I don’t want to teach you why clicking the X is not the same as quitting an app. Yeah, everyone has the same iPhone as you — now take the case off.
~2000: Goo…what? 2001-2008: This is the company that is going to change everything — the world will be better and more awesome with them. See ya, Microsoft. 2009: It’s just Schmidt, once they oust him things will be OK. 2010: Maybe they are a two-hit-wonder: Search and Gmail. They are making tons of money anyways, nothing to see here, everything will get better once the Uncle Creepy leaves. 2011: Nope, didn’t get better. 2012-Writing this post: Were they ever capable of not being evil?
Late 2004: Poke.
2005-2006: What girl do I know who took a vacation to a bikini climate?
2007: This is not the same thing it used to be. I miss the days of “poke”. Wait, since when was person A not with person D????
2008-2009: Person X hid a fucking easter egg on your wall.
2010: Delete.
2011-2012: I can’t believe I ever used Facebook, let alone that people still use Facebook.