‘Translation of Selected Portions of AT&T’s Blog Post Regarding FaceTime Over Their Cellular Network’

Nick Heer translates AT&T’s BS press release: >You won’t *believe* how tightly we are threading our FaceTime policies through some loopholes we found. You are going to be amazed, where by amazed, we mean “totally pissed off”. I actually didn’t read the AT&T press release because I couldn’t keep from rolling my eyes long enough…

Nick Heer translates AT&T’s BS press release:

>You won’t *believe* how tightly we are threading our FaceTime policies through some loopholes we found. You are going to be amazed, where by amazed, we mean “totally pissed off”.

I actually didn’t read the AT&T press release because I couldn’t keep from rolling my eyes long enough to get through the first word. Heer’s translation is excellent.

I’ve been an AT&T subscriber for well over 14 years. No, really. I was pumped when the first iPhone was announced on Cingular (later changed to AT&T) and I have a completely unfounded hatred of using Verizon. ((I have a Verizon iPad, but only because AT&T’s LTE network is a joke.)) With the next iPhone coming out in a month or so, I have to say, that for the first time I just might switch to Verizon. ((Or T-Mobile as I am hearing more and more little birdies telling me that T-Mobile will get the iPhone this time around, what with the failed merger with AT&T. They are local, so might make a good choice for me.))

Literally no one in my family, or immediate network (save two good friends), are on Verizon — and yet I don’t know if I can stomach staying on AT&T. It’s not that AT&T has bad service, bad speeds, or bad prices ((All the networks have shitty prices.)) — it’s that AT&T Wireless has taken the Airline route to customer service, which I summarize as such:

> We stand to serve our customers, except only *we* know what our customers want. Should a customer want a new feature, we need to sit down and determine how much and how often we can charge them for that new feature — this should take no less than 6 months. Should our customers challenge us, we will slyly raise early termination fees to deter such dissension. Remember, we are AT&T, and the ultimate authority on what *you* actually need.

The problem is that mobile telephones and internet has moved from a luxury good, paid with disposable income, to a commodity. I have seen people sitting on the side of the road, freshly evicted from their apartment, chatting on their phones and texting. This is our priority — it’s no wonder that AT&T feels like they can treat us like shit.

So, maybe it’s time for a change this September. ((T-Mobile users, let me know how the service and network speeds are just in case what I am hearing is true. No way I go with Sprint, their commercials were in B&W — can’t imagine they have a fast network.))

[via The Beard]
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