Death Wish Coffee

Yes, this is a post about coffee, which is among the most annoying of topics on generally tech focused blogs. But, let now assure you that I am not a pretentious coffee drinker, I use a Keurig and I fucking love it — so yeah.

Anyways, a coworker posted a link to this Buzzfeed video of their staff drinking “Death Wish Coffee”, it’s great. I quipped that it looked great, and if it comes in K-Cups, I’d get it to try. And of course seconds later my coworkers delivered, because of course it comes in K-cups.

Ok, so what’s the deal with this coffee?

First let me explain a few things about why I drink coffee:

  1. Caffeine is awesome
  2. It’s healthier than drinking soda all day
  3. It’s warm, and that’s lovely.
  4. Sometimes it tastes good, mostly it tastes whatever.

I use a Keurig because I don’t believe in wasting my time, I have more important shit to do. I think that is Keurig’s slogan, “I have more important shit to do”, but I could be mistaken on that — look, I don’t have time to research such things.

A Brief Aside: Yes, I’ve had really good coffee and yes it tastes really good. I totally know I could do this at home if I wanted to everyday. It would be amazing, but so would having another 10-20 minutes everyday to play with my kids. So yeah, I could grow beans in my backyard, get some goats to eat those beans and shit them back out. Spend thousands of dollars on other equipment and roast those shitty beans and then grind them like there is no tomorrow and then brew a glorious cup of coffee. Or, I could use a Keurig and, I don’t know call me crazy, but one sounds like way less of a pain in the ass.

Ok, back to Death Wish Coffee, the pitch is: it has a ton of caffeine in it. This sounds great and terrifying. Indeed, if you watched that video, you will notice that many people had “toilet” issues following their coffee. Buzzfeed also notes that Death Wish has about three times as much caffeine as Starbucks. Hell yeah.

So now I have a K-cup which is really ticking my first coffee goal: efficient caffeine delivery. Nice.

How is it, you ask? Pretty fucking good.

Normally we have Starbucks Sumatra K-cups on hand and I think those are ok, but Death Wish is much better. It’s also organic, which I mention only because of how odd that is.

Look Death Wish isn’t the best coffee I have ever had, but it’s better than most K-cups we drink. But, I can really only have one cup of coffee per day if I drink Death Wish, instead of my normal 2-3.

It’s really that strong.

I had a 8oz cup this morning at 7:15am, and it is now noon and I’ve only had water — I still feel amped on caffeine. Pretty awesome.

Oh, and I’ve not had any toilet repercussions in the many cups I’ve had of this coffee — I think those Buzzfeed people were just, uh, well eye roll emoji.

In other words: it’s not an everyday thing, but come Thursday and Friday: hell yeah.

Grab some.

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Article Details

Published
3 minutes to read.


tl;dr

An efficient means of delivery an absurd amount of caffeine. Oh, and it’s organic.