Microsoft:

Many new PCs come filled with lots of trialware and sample software that slows your computer down—removing all that is a pain, so we do it for you! Every PC the Microsoft Store sells is put on a software diet and performance is tuned to run the best it can.

You have got to love the exclamation point here. It’s like the biggest pat on the back that I have ever seen in ad copy. Genius.

We call this process Microsoft Signature.

Funny, I call it common sense.